Oooh, so here I am ‘online’! Took me long enough to master e-mail so it’s actually bloody amazing that I am ‘posting’ on a ‘blog’ within just six weeks of being introduced to the concept.

Hello!

Well, y’all shoulda received an e-mail regarding approximately what I have been doing. Of course being as how I go to an office four/five days a week my life is a little less eventful than ‘I now have the most diverse CV in the world’ James!

The donorship study is going okay. Still really a little too academic for me…the other intern gets to write about the small arms trade…how much more tangible is that eh?

Still, I am still learning tonnes – even if it is making me want to throw my hands in the air and ask what the hell we can do. Seems as if every facet of the development/aid industry is messed up beyond belief and often hinders rather than helps the cause. It is gradually getting better (with some notable exceptions), historically what we have done is nothing short of horrendous.

Anyway for one of the ‘notable exceptions’ I mention, do have a quick scan of some of this article I found regarding what is happening to reconstruction funds in Iraq (it’s pretty long and involved but the basic premise is clear from the outset…) I guess we all knew American foreign policy isn’t run along the most ethical lines but this is ridiculous…

http://www.zmag.org/content/showarticle.cfm?SectionID=15&ItemID=8241

Anyway, still got a LOT of research to do so maybe I’ll find some more favourable reports soon…

The other thing I feel the need to talk about here is the expat lifestyle. It’s really been getting me down. I hate it and just don’t feel I’ll ever get used to it although I am frequently told that I will. Of course I was aware that we’d be living in a secure, guarded house and that we’d be conspicuous Westerners with money, but I just feel so uncomfortable, ashamed and guilty constantly. Of course there are very wealthy Kenyans and middle class Kenyans too – we live the same kind of lifestyles that they do – but it’s just so much more conspicuous and contrasts so disgustingly obviously with the people we see on the streets around us. There is a vast difference in wealth distribution here.

It also seems the social pattern here is to hang around with other expats – of course it’s easier as we have so much in common – but I really would like to establish friendships with people who actually live in and know Kenya. Surely part of the experience of living in a new place is meeting the people? I am really trying not to fall into the trap of going to western hang-outs where a drink costs more than a labourer earns in a day even though they feel ‘safe’ and ‘familiar’ and the surrounding poverty is hidden by a frescoed wall.
We’ve found a couple of nice hang-outs off the expat trail – primarily pool joints actually, pool is huge here.

Adding to my guilt 100 fold is the fact that the house we rent a room in has ‘staff’. How ridiculous is that? We have a cleaner (Jane), a gardener (Henry) and two guards (Alexander and Sammy).
We pay them pretty well by local standards (and they each have houses within the compound we live in) but it just doesn’t feel right. We’re very chatty with them and I make them tea/coffee but obviously we are never going to have any kind of relationship with them other than the one whereby they work for us. I know this is completely stupid and niaive but I really thought we could get over that at first. We chatted, I asked questions, I had stupid visions of me and James cooking a roast and inviting them round – all very Dickensian eh?!
I was delighted when Jane asked me to her house – I thought this was the start - that we could learn loads from each other, exchange ideas and opinions on the world. In actual fact she just lined up her children and asked if I could pay their school fees for them. It was horrendous.

Okay, enough of my ranting. Just trying to adjust to life here and also – I suspect – appease my conscience. Laters xx